IComplain

Blogging Like it's 2008!

2009-01-04T12:48:00.000-08:00

In reviewing the trash litter of unused "blogs" that are out there in cyberspace, I decided to get out the Swiffer Dust Mop on this one, good ole "IComplain." The whole idea of "making money" by blogging through adsense and other nonSENSE, is like so 2004 now. I completely understand why some talented writers, who used to blog once a day, haven't touched their once regularly updated works for 3+ years in some cases. That, and the fact that your sole user/reader comments consist of long run on spam advertisements with random words put together in no apparent sequence (Latex Obama Bush Letterman Iraqi Freedom True Relgion Hannah Montana Snowboarding Says to Grow 8 Inches Larger Gas Prices SubPrime Mortage Equity Hybrid, etc etc), it becomes just a TAD disheartening. Well, just to throw a change up pitch into the world of Google and cyberspace, I don't want to put my handprint onto the tombstone of this blog JUST yet.

Volkswagen Commercial With the Obnoxious Horn Blowing

2008-03-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

I cannot take this damn commercial. Who wants to hear horns blowing loudly on a commercial? Not to mention my dog goes nuts everytime this commercial airs (at least 3 times per hour) because she thinks it's my wife's car (my wife has a Volkswagen Jetta), so I have to deal with a maniacal dog running around the house and barking. The commercial is too goddamn loud, and I can't stand hearing the anti-theft horn blowing on my street or in a parking lot much less on a tv commercial. End this annoying travesty at once!

ESPN March Madness Opera Singer - I Can't Take It!

2008-03-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

I can't take it....if you're watching these conference tournaments in NCAA basketball on ESPN there is this "Opera" style singer who looks like one of the Backstreet Boys that does the promos and sets the stage for matchups by singing terribly about the teams. "North Caro-liiiiina. Clem-son Tiiiiiigers." I don't know if it's supposed to be funny, which it's not, or if it's supposed to have a "cheesy" effect to it, which it really doesn't. It truly just comes off as awful. I sincerely hope this spot ends SOON. I hate to have my enjoyment of March Madness infringed upon my absurdities.

Is Blogging The New Pogo Bal?

2008-03-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

Meaning is blogging a "once cool, now left for dead" thing of the past? Methinks so. I think I'd rather warp back to 1988 on my Pogo Bal and race my neighbor on his Roller Racer than continue to blog for the mythical "Adsense" cash that never seems to proliferate. This phenomenon is like SOOOO 2003!

"George Mason Is This Year's George Mason"

2008-03-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

Just posting one of the funnier fan signs I've seen recently during the George Mason - William & Mary college basketball game tonight. Anyone who appreciates the sport and remembers GMU's run from a few years back should find this line pretty entertaining.

Hannah Montana vs. It's Your Move with Jason Bateman

2008-02-24T09:21:00.001-08:00

I'm obviously exposing my age here...but the whole premise behind the mega-popular Disney show "Hannah Montana" reminds me a bit of one of my favorite 80's shows as a kid. Some of you may remember "It's Your Move" starring Jason Bateman. I distinctly remember episodes where the main character, Bateman's character (can't remember his name on the show for the life of me and really don't care to look it up at the moment), engineered a rock band that was made up of puppets who were controlled by electronics and people behind the scenes. The group was called the "Dregs of Society." And I also remember Bateman starring on some late night talk show to discuss the tragic car accident that "killed" all of the band members, thus ending the run of the "Dregs."

I don't know...I just see some parallels between the modern day Hannah show and her two personalities, Mylie vs. Hannah and the Dregs of Society. Call me crazy, or maybe it's as simple as I'm too damn old to be watching the Disney channel to begin with.

Vic Mackey from The Shield to Do Dunkin' Donuts Spot

2008-02-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

Yes that's right, Michael Chiklis from the FX channel's popular series "The Shield" will be singing "I'm slightly more productive than I previously was" as he bashes the head of a drug dealer through a wall. "Doing things is what I like to DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

This phenomenon is simply taking over.

Dunkin' Donuts Doing Things Is What I Like To Do...YES

2008-02-02T11:55:00.000-08:00

I can't figure out if it's "YEEEEEESSSSSS!" or "YEPPPPPPP!" but it's entirely too annoying for me. I think the shared voice that everyone in the commercial sings in really kills me. Or perhaps it's the brilliant lyrics "I'm slightly more productive than I previously was. I'm slightly more efficient than I previously was." It's simply beautiful poetic genius....Wordsworth would be insanely jealous. For the record, I've never seen a street full of happy donut eating, singing, smiling people all doing backbreaking and unrewarding labor. Hell, I don't sing nor smile and I do easy office work. It must be the donuts, yes that's it.

CFA Trumps the MBA...Trust Me!

2008-01-26T06:07:00.000-08:00

If you're considering higher education as you think it will make yourself more marketable in the workplace....be careful about where you spend your dollars. I am living proof that an MBA from a mid-tier school, albeit a costly one (>$40,000) will NOT get you that instant raise nor respect. In fact, some of the job offers I've received are for LESS than I currently make! To me, this implies that the MBA has become such a commodity that it's just not really valued anymore. My professional opinion is that if you are shooting for a full time MBA program at an Ivy League or Ivy League caliber school...then that's a different ballgame altogether. There, you will likely realize some return on your investment. However, if you simply can't quit your current job in order to attend a full time program or if you just don't have the finances for it, STRONGLY consider getting a certification like the CFA instead of the MBA. You'll learn more, it will cost you a fraction of the MBA tuition, and trust me, employers will hire you more readily and you'll actually get that raise you've been seeking.

Self Jinxing

2007-12-31T10:43:00.000-08:00

Does anyone feel they have the uncanny ability to jinx themselves consistently on a 100% basis? It's a wonderful phenomenon that touches my life on a daily basis. Whether it's me feeling good about a trade I made in the stock market, a football pick that is going my way, or simply that I haven't stepped in dogsh-- today, I feel that if I announce to myself "Wow, this is great, I'm going to be a winner" the complete OPPOSITE always occurs. There is no way I'm imagining this. I'm wondering if there is a way to counter this phenomenon by "announcing" something else? Perhaps I should try "I'm a loser, yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and in everything that I have done, am doing, and will do!" Will that produce better results?

And One More thing...Britney Spears on Jive Records?

2007-12-30T19:43:00.001-08:00

Jive Records was once a proud hip hop label, flaunting names such as A Tribe Called Quest and Spice 1. Britney Spears is also on Jive Records. That should tell you how "real" hip hop is these days. I don't even think the term "sell out" is appropriate anymore because no one has a chance to sell out. There is no transition from low tech, low budget underground to mega star, doing Award shows a-la Kanye West or 50 Cent. Just think about Run DMC or Slick Rick back in the early-mid 80's. How many Music Award shows did they play? The idea of this would have been preposterous to the hip hop world. But now it's simply commonplace, there is no such thing as the underground rapper, but instead it's just a ratrace to sell as many records you can to white kids in the suburbs who supposedly "identify" with you.

Kimora Lee and Ice-T's wife NOT Sharon Osbourne

2007-12-30T19:40:00.000-08:00

I don't want to give my readers the wrong impression. When I was chiding the formerly rugged street rappers for their current "soft" lifestyles I was thinking more of Ice-T and his model wife (can't say I recall her name offhand) and Russell Simmons and his recent ex, model Kimora Lee. I was NOT referring to Sharon Osbourne as a runway model. That's actually kind of humorous.

Rappers. Did they sell out, or was it always just a business?

2007-12-30T19:18:00.000-08:00

I'm having flashbacks of Ice Cube, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Dr. Dre, and Ice-T circa 1992. Ice Cube still maintained a serious level of street credit, coming fresh off of a role in "Boyz N Tha Hood" and successful album releases such as "The Predator." Most notably, Cube was very vocal in the subjects of white police brutality amongst other sensitive racial issues of the day. Now when I see the man, he's starring in "Are We There Yet?" after I thought I had seen enough in "Anaconda." As for the Snoop Dogg? Well he has a nice happy family now and isn't afraid to let the cameras role from inside of his comfortable abode. Dr. Dre? He's busy finding the next gifted white rapper to succeed Eminem. And the infamous "Cop Killer" Ice-T? Well, he now PLAYS a cop on Law And Order.

Sometimes I feel like I'm completely alone in wondering, "What parallel universe did I spin into?" Does old age, money, and a new decade transform a man from bitter, rugged, and having unquestionable street credit into a soft suburbanite who settles down and has a nice happy family with smiling kids, a runway model wife, and simply a very opulent but, BORING lifestyle? Well, I guess I can just look at the Osbournes and find that the answer is YES. What a shame.

Bob is BACK!

2007-02-28T09:42:00.000-08:00

JUST as I posted those last thoughts about my hero Bob Pisani, sure enough, he appeared on CNBC to pound his bullish table. Keep it up with the fantastic, unbiased coverage. And Bob, where were you yesterday? I still haven't heard the reasoning...

Where In The World Is Bob Pisani Part II

2007-02-28T09:34:00.000-08:00

Note the date/content of the below post that was printed here last May...

"Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Where In The World Is Bob Pisani?
Is it any coincidence that during one of the worst market downturns in recent years, Bob "The Bull" Pisani has taken "off" this week? Nothing like throwing your minions into the fire and forcing them to take over the TV coverage of this falling stock market (today withstanding since it looks like we might recover some of the losses). Bob will conveniently resurface from his "vacation" when the market starts to go higher again, and neglect to talk about the carnage that has occurred in recent days. "

Well it's happened again. Where is CNBC's Bob Pisani? Mr. Bullmarket '07 was conveniently absent from his post during a near record day of carnage yesterday. I wanted to hear him "spin" how yesterday's market action was actually a good thing and not a cause for concern. A few months back on a notable down day in the market, Mr. Pisani actually uttered the explanation "What we have is not selling, it's just less buying." I for one, truly missed his coverage yesterday, as I'm certain he would have provided me with some twisted entertainment.

I'm also absolutely shocked that he's not on today, being that there is something of a recovery underway on Wall Street. Perhaps he will grace us with his presence during the final 5 minutes of trading when he's certain we will finish up on the day and "off the lows" (a CNBC staple phrase).

What makes this situation even worse are the comments that Bob recently posted on his CNBC blog just a mere two weeks ago...have a look for yourself...http://www.cnbc.com/id/17136551

Why isn't he on right now defending his bullish case?

Catching Up On Older Movies

2006-07-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

I've been spending a lot of time lately trying to catch up on movies made in the past decade that were lauded as can't miss flicks. I attribute most of the missed movies to a lack of disposable income during my college years and an inherent unwillingness to spend the money that I did had on anything but alcohol. See a related article "Roman Meal for Dinner" for more on this topic. I saw "Mulholland Drive" last night for the first time, which I realize puts me squarely in 2001 when The Rock was still wrestling instead of making movies, and people were still making money in Nasdaq stocks. Well, the movie was well worth the 2 1/2 hours devoted to it, and I found that following it intently and enjoying most of it, I still don't get it. But from what I've heard from other viewers, that's the point. A movie without a point, or a vague one at that, one that blurs dream sequences and realities and confuses absurdities with seriousness...what a great formula! Confuse the hell out of everyone and who cares if they like it! Praise to David Lynch.

Blogging for Dollars...Not A Chance

2006-07-17T11:18:00.000-07:00

Don't waste your time blogging under the false impression that you're going to get rich doing so. And please don't by one of those books that proclaims itself as a guide in helping you turn your blog into a cash cow. It's not possible anymore. Perhaps a few years ago when you could earn real money from supported ad sites and targeted advertising that "pays per click" you could earn a nice residual income. However, now it is literally pennies. And pennies are not worth you time.

Simple Mathematics for Today's Job Market

2006-07-13T04:59:00.000-07:00

6 Years Experience + 6 Securities Licenses + 1 MBA Degree = 0 Respect

Has Putin Lost It?

2006-07-06T12:13:00.000-07:00

Has Russian President Vladimir Putin lost it? In this bizarre story, Putin meets a neighbohood boy in the streets and kisses his stomach. He then proceeds to say that he wanted to "touch him like a kitten." Personally, I think this story is funny as hell. I'm not even going to delve into what I think about Putin, or what I think about his motives or what was going on in his head, etc. It's just so bizarrely entertaining I wish more world leaders would do such inexplicable things. One thing is for sure, if President Bush did something like this, people would be calling for him to leave office. Think about it for a minute!

NASA, Money, and the Moon

2006-07-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

Why do we still fly space shuttles to the moon? Where does the money that funds this come from? Does anyone believe that the majority of Americans support the billions of dollars that go into funding space shuttle flights to the moon and related research? If we were flying to other planets, honestly, I really would have a better attitude towards this. But we're still flying to the freaking moon for goodness sakes! This has 1960 written all over it. What can we find on the moon this time around that we didn't find the first few dozen times we were up there? And how is this worth billions of dollars to us? Why not allocate this money to some other grossly underfunded government project, like the education system. No, that might actually make sense.

Gordon From Sesame Street Is Montel Williams

2006-06-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

That's right, they are one and the same person. You read it here first.

Where In The World Is Bob Pisani?

2006-05-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

Is it any coincidence that during one of the worst market downturns in recent years, Bob "The Bull" Pisani has taken "off" this week? Nothing like throwing your minions into the fire and forcing them to take over the TV coverage of this falling stock market (today withstanding since it looks like we might recover some of the losses). Bob will conveniently resurface from his "vacation" when the market starts to go higher again, and neglect to talk about the carnage that has occurred in recent days.

Greetings from Cliffdive City (Stock Market Thread)

2006-05-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

Greetings and welcome to "Cliffdive City." Hello, I'm your host George W. Bush, and this is your friendly concierge Mr. Ben Bernanke. We hope you enjoy your stay!

Baseball Cards Back In the NEWS

2006-05-19T05:29:00.000-07:00

We at "Baseball Card Death" have noticed an increase in the "buzz" about baseball cards recently in the popular press, and we suppose this has to do with the fact that the season is afoot, so it's not a huge surprise. Nevertheless, we invite you to read the following article that was recently published in the Wall Street Journal regarding baseball card collecting. It's quite insightful. So read on...

Comeback Kids? Players Union Tries to Lure Youths Back to Baseball Cards; Flip 'em, Fling 'em, Trade 'em

By JULIA ANGWIN May 10, 2006; Page B1 Wall Street Journal

When Tom McCarthy was a boy, he and his friends would do what generations of boys before them had done on rainy summer afternoons. They'd take stacks of baseball cards and trade them. Or they'd flip them onto the ground one at a time, the winner of the game -- and the cards -- determined by whether the colors on the cards' team banners matched. But three decades later that childhood passion is a mystery to Mr. McCarthy's two sons, aged 8 and 11. "They are interested for, like, five minutes, but then they put them in their folder or they lose them," says Mr. McCarthy, 37 and a radio broadcaster for the New York Mets. Instead, he says his sons channel their love of baseball into videogames, fantasy leagues and collecting hats and jerseys. "There's a nostalgic part of me that would love to see them have an interest in collecting cards." He's not the only one. After more than a decade of steadily declining baseball-card sales, the players whose photos grace the cards are taking action. The Major League Baseball Players Association, which licenses the players' likenesses, names and biographical data to the trading card companies, is making a major push to get kids to play with cards again. This week, the players union is launching its first-ever television advertising campaign for baseball cards, hoping to lure kids and their parents back to the traditional pastime. The union has also convinced card manufacturers to sharply cut back on the number of cards being aimed at adults and to push kid-friendly $0.99 and $1.99 packs. "We found that kids really like the cards, but they're not sure what to do with them," says Judy Heeter, director of business affairs for the union. In the age of videogames, iPods and MySpace.com, it's an uncommonly difficult marketing challenge. Baseball cards are a relic of a quieter time, when generations of American boys spent hours sifting through their shoebox hoard, flipping them, flinging them, playing imaginary baseball games with them, trading them with friends or sticking them in the spokes of their bike wheels. Sports broadcaster Bob Costas, who famously carries a 1958 Topps All-Star card of New York Yankee Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle in his wallet, says his favorite game growing up on Long Island was "knock-a-leaner." A card was propped against a wall, and the players tried to fling other cards at it to knock it down. Every card that missed became part of the pot to be won by the first kid to topple the leaner. "You'd show up with all your cards in a shoebox," Mr. Costas, 54, says, "and some wise guy would say one shot for the whole box." To rekindle that kind of devotion, the union is putting roughly $3 million into a marketing campaign to show kids how to play with trading cards. The card manufacturers are spending another $4 million on marketing. The TV spots, created by WPP Group PLC's Geppetto Group, show kids buying the cards, taking them home, swapping them, putting them in an album and having the players on the cards come to life. The tagline is "Bring the game home." It's not all a low-tech play. The TV ads will also steer kids, mostly boys between the ages of 6 and 13, to a Web site where they can learn to play games such as throwing the cards onto a printout of a bulls-eye or playing a memory game modeled after the perennial kid favorite "Concentration." Kids will also earn points for each card they purchase and win prizes. "Instead of changing the product, we want to change the way people engage with the product," says Christopher McKee, creative director of Geppetto. The first baseball cards were introdcued by tobacco companies in the 1860s. By the 1930s, gum companies were also including cards. The modern era of baseball cards was launched in 1948 when Bowman, now owned by industry-leader Topps Co., introduced a 48-card set. Kids used to buy "bubblegum cards" at the local candy store, ripping open the packs, stuffing the thick sticks of gum into their mouths and inventing simple games to play with the cards. By the 1990s, cards had become a big business, with six companies making cards -- some without the gum. Adults, realizing their childhood collections were valuable, started buying cards again. Card makers competed to make their sets expensive and rare. "It was appealing to serious-minded collectors," says Kerri Stockholm, senior marketing manager at card maker Upper Deck Co., "but that was when we started to lose kids." But the speculative bubble soon burst. Sports trading-card sales peaked in 1991 at $1.2 billion before plunging to about $250 million last year, according to the industry trade magazine Card Trade. This is a big issue for the union because trading cards are its top revenue source from licensing, generating more money than clothing, videogames and online fantasy leagues. The players association began trying to reignite children's interest four years ago with a program that encouraged Cub Scouts to collect trading cards. The association distributed cards to interested Cub Scout groups; scouts could earn merit badges based on their card collections. But studies showed that kids were still confused by the vast array of cards on the market. So last year, the players association cut back the number of licensees to two -- Topps and the Upper Deck -- and cut by more than half the number of cards sets produced to 40 from 89. Both card manufacturers, Topps and Upper Deck, recently have begun their own marketing efforts. Last month, Topps launched a joint Web site with Sports Illustrated for Kids, letting kids play online games using cards they have collected. In April, Upper Deck began its first television ad campaign for baseball cards in more than a decade with the tagline "Get more than lucky." The Upper Deck campaign also promotes a way for kids to win points for each card and win prizes such as a private clinic with New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. In a conference call last month, Topps Chief Financial Officer Cathy Jessup said the new program of fewer cards had already begun to yield results. She said sales of the company's first set of cards this year were up 55% from 2005, and sales of the second set were up 35%. "The vast majority of the season is still ahead of us, but we're optimistic at this early stage," she said. But for 8-year-old New York City resident Jordan Stanton, who plays outfield and second base on his local team, his attachment to baseball takes a different form. Jordan says he and his friends mostly play Electronic Arts Inc.'s "MVP Baseball 2005" baseball videogame when they're not on the diamond. "I'm more interested in baseball than card playing," Jordan says.

END OF ARTICLE

Our take on this? This is not going to work. The player's association is out of touch with reality. They are incorrectly perceiving the viability of the baseball card industry as a "kid fueled" phenomenon. Anyone who was close to the industry during its days of "mania success" knows that kids were only a small portion of the overall market. Adults were the key, and adults were for the most part attracted by the lure of making money. The idea that collecting was also "fun" was very, very secondary. This article is interesting in that it mentions the inclinations of today's kids to purchase iPods and video games over something as antiquated as a baseball card. This should come as a surprise to no one who keeps in touch with the changing tastes of children consumers as time passes. For the same reason that toy trains and Viewmasters are not as popular with young boys today as they were in say the 1950s and 1960s, baseball cards are not popular today. We find the attempts of the Player's Association ill-timed, and seem to be a move of desperation. But if they are successful, our collections will skyrocket in value, in fact most of our readers will be basking in the glory of their of investment foresight when they can finally cash in their card stockpiles. But then again, what are the odds of this happening? Just like baseball cards themselves, we are NOT buying this one.

Vacation Break

2006-05-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

Going away for a 2 week vacation, so no complaints will be registered until my return. Those of you who hate hearing my negative rants and wish I would die and disappear, well, you may get your wish. Then again, I might make it back safely and will be refreshed with a slew of new things to whine about. See you all soon! Please give Bob Pisani and the Bull market my regards.

Microsoft, Jim Cramer, and the Nasdaq Market

2006-05-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

Look at Microsoft (MSFT) today, plunging to new multi-year lows. Yet the Nasdaq 100 (NDX) and the Dow Jones Industrials (DJI) are only off modestly. This is truly amazing given the weighting of behemoth MSFT in the index and it's supposed impact on other companies, sectors, and subsectors. Much like Bob Pisani enjoys saying, MSFT's surprise earnings miss must have been, "company specific."

Does anyone recall Jim Cramer touting MSFT as a buy when it was above $27 on his show last month? He distinctly said that he was impressed by the stock's recovery to price levels that it was at before they announced that the Vista operating system would be delayed. He also said that "it would be $30 in no time." Why doesn't Cramer ever revisit blowups like this? Has he even mentioned MSFT, now trading at approximately $23.30 since their earnings debacle? Of course not. He employs a mentality of tout your winners, and never mention your losers again. How and why the viewing public continues to swallow this garbage I will never know. I guess throwing a few chairs, slamming some phones, and saying Boo-yah erases a thousands of dollars of losses in people's personal trading accounts thanks to ill-timed advice.

Taxation Without Representation in 2006

2006-05-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

Does the average American know where their precious tax dollars go? Moreover, do they have any control over these monies? The answer on both accounts is, "No." Would you support any of the causes your tax funds were allocated to if asked before they were spent away? If you were approached by an government official who called you and said:

"Mr. Smith, we just received your $1,700, and kindly thank you for your quick attention to your Income Tax return. We only wished that all Americans shared this dedication. Now for the allocation part. We can put 30% towards our 3rd world country development program, 30% towards the prevention of pandemics like the Avian Bird Flu here in the U.S. and abroad, and 40% toward the purchase of new armored fighting vehicles for the conflict in Iraq."

Do these sound like appealing choices? The matter of "allocation" is completely out of the taxpayers' hands. As citizens, we are deemed "too dumb" to know the best ways to spend our hard earned money. Therefore, these important decisions are shifted away into political red tape oblivion and the funds are stored away in what I like to call the "Mystery Money Treasure Chest." This chest contains "mythical" amounts of money and is always called upon when the country "needs" funding of ridiculous proportions (i.e. $30 billion dollars for Iraq war expenditures, etc.) These numbers are so large they aren't even REAL to most Americans!

But we are supposed to grin and bear it, and accept the fact that our paychecks are roughly 30% (all depending of course) less than what they should be each week and that this money is well spent. I say, "Bulls***t."

Schools eliminate "Non-Diet" Sodas

2006-05-03T09:45:00.002-07:00

Well it's about time don't you think? I for one, used to drink two REGULAR Cokes per day, every day, after I got my first job out of college. Needless to say, when my 6 month dental checkup came around, I had SIX cavities. The dentist asked me bluntly, "What, do you drink a lot of soda or something?" Having to go through the fine experience of 6 fillings in one sitting at the dentist was enough to ween me off of regular soda forever. I've become quite accustomed to the "diet" versions of sodas, and even LIKE some of the "Zero" versions, as I honestly cannot tell the difference between these and the originals. Anyone who is still clamoring for that regular sugar filled soda really should just get in the habit of drinking diet only, or better yet, WATER. Children these days should be raised without ever sipping a non-diet soda, for there is no way they'd ever notice the difference, and will be much better off without the poison. Do you really want to continue to make your dentist rich? Think again.

Great, more Penny Stock Spam! Cyberhand (CYHD)

2006-05-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Great! It looks like the penny stock spam mail generator is up an running again today. I've already received 2 messages about "Cyberhand Technologies" (CYHD), which trades on the bulletin boards for about 6 cents. The "Press Release" states that Cyberhand "focuses on Aerospace Weapon Systems that provide the world's fastes controllers and most accurate target acquisition, generating the best field results, as well as inovative wireless ergonomic products for private and military purposes." Okay, got all of that? The CEO is then quoted as saying "Because of the potential collateral damage caused by some of today's weapons and missiles in enemy urban environments, we believe that our products will reduce the chances of injuring of killing innocent people in surrounding areas in which we strike."

Furthermore, there is a very cheesy disclaimer on the bottom of the email that states "The company may need financing to continue as a going concern. A failure to finance could cause the company to go out of business. You can lose all your money by investing in this stock."

Haha. Did I hear that right? Nothing like making stock solicitation via spam emails "legal" with the ol' disclaimer.

SO...this company makes products that make it safer to lob missiles into urban areas? What kind of product would that be may we ask? Oh sorry, that was covered already..."ergonomic products." That puts us at rest.

Penny stock spammers just can't get enough of their market moving abilities.

The Federal Reserve - "Greater Transparency" HA

2006-05-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

In the early to mid 1990s, the Federal Reserve, commandeered by the legendary Alan Greenspan promoted "greater transparency" in the Fed's relation to the equity and debt markets. Bernanke's episode of "striking the record" today couldn't be farther away from a policy of transparency. Bernanke pro-actively stated that the media AND the markets misconstrued his comments last week (which were perceived bullishly by the stock market) and retraced today. There is a real problem with a Fed that is going to do this! There is NO transparency if you need to reiterate the basic foundations of your policy 5 or 6 days later after the initial "unveiling" because the results were deemed "incorrect" or "in error." Greenspan's administration was concerned about the uncertainty and volatility that Fed decisions and any commentary would cause. Well, here we are a decade later, and we are more volatile than ever. Can we just hear the story once and for all, the FIRST time around??

Ben Bernanke - Mr. Grim Reaper Himself

2006-05-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

This just in...

Fed chair Ben Bernanke comments today that the media misunderstood his remarks regarding the slowing, or abrupt end to the Fed's policy of raising rates. Today he stated that future economic data will determine rate moves, and his previous comments were regarded as pointing to a near term end for the raising of rates.

Of course this kind of rhetoric always sparks a selloff, as it should, as it seems that this chairman is really enjoying his tenure thus far, wearing his cape and swinging his sickle while steadfastly sticking with the Fed's rate raising policy. I find it uncanny and moreover amusing that Bernanke made a point to "strike the record" and tell the world what he really meant last week! This market is amazing. Amazingly funny.

LenDale White/Suzy Kolber Draft Day Saga

2006-05-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

I was watching the NFL draft, casually at the moment apparently because I missed what went on during an interview conducted by Suzy Kolber with LenDale White. I'm hearing that she was rather abrasive with him since he dropped into the second round and he pretended to not hear/understand the questions and eventually just ended the interview? If anyone can shed some light on this, as I found little coverage or explananation on various internet sites, I'd appreciate it.

NFL Post Draft Analysis

2006-05-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

So following the draft this past weekend, who is your future Keith McCants or Percy Snow? Or perhaps your future Broderick Thomas or Blair Thomas?

iKarma's (IKMA) Response to Spam Emails

2006-05-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

Recall the iKarma (IKMA) spam deluge last week that was discussed in length. Well, iKarma's CEO, Paul Williams kindly promptly responded to us amidst the flurry of spam emails that were sent last week. Here is his response:

I would like to assure your readers that iKarma is not responsible for the spam they have been tortured with these past few days touting our company. iKarma.com is in the online reputation business, so you can imagine how angry we are that spammers have soiled our reputation by doing the one thing every internet user in the world truly hates.Some people have commented that because this spam was â€œpromotingâ€ iKarma that we must somehow be behind this abuse. But by reading this spam in its entirety (with its bogus disclaimer) it quickly becomes clear that this was designed to do us more harm than good. My team and I have invested an enormous amount of money, time, energy and love into the long term success of our company. Spamming investors for short term gain is not part of our business plan. We suspect this spam was designed to produce the exact angry response it did in each of you. The spammers even seem to be taunting those who complain by sending additional emails to anyone who responds to the sender. In some cases it appears that they are using the email addresses of complainers as the forged sender on their next spam. Further enraging those most likely to complain. Strangest of all is the fact that the spam even mentioned our membership in an organization that is active in the fight against spam.Our business at iKarma depends on our ability to contact our users without getting blocked. So sending spam is the last thing we would do to promote our company. We also depend on a positive public reputation to promote our brand.We commend you in your efforts to fight spam and we support the idea that protection of small investors and consumers must take priority over the shame and sadness we feel about having our company name listed on your site. We regret that this spam has caused everyone (including us) so much aggravation and I hope this letter to you will in some way help redeem iKarma in all of your eyes. We have posted a notice on the front of our web site and we are working with all of our resources to discover who is responsible for this unauthorized abuse.

Sincerely,Paul Williams CEO iKarma Inc.
1203 Town Center Drive Suite 212
Jupiter, Florida 33458
(561) 427-7285

Mr. Williams, this is a prompt and thorough response. You deserve respect for such action and more CEO's should follow in your footsteps and be so pro-active. Thank you for attending to this matter in a professional way, as this is a service to your investors and potential investors

50 Cent Speaketh The Truth About Oprah Winfrey

2006-04-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

The Associated Press recently conducted an interview with rapper 50 Cent where he spoke nothing but the truth. He didn't belabor the point but pointed out something that should garner more attention than it does. He said "I could care less about Oprah and her show." Later he said "Her show caters to older white women." This couldn't be more true. I'm glad that 50 Cent said something that others have been too afraid to admit over the years. Oprah is another "Hollywoodite", plain and simple.

Got Baseball Cards?

2006-04-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

Are your cards worthless too?

www.baseballcarddeath.com

NBA Drafts - Even More Busts Than the NFL

2006-04-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Don't let the NBA fool you...their scouting is even more pathetic than the NFL. The evidence you ask? Read on:

Victor Khyrapa
Rafael Araujo
Zoran Planinic
Jiri Welsch
Joseph Forter
Eddie Griffin
DeSagana Diop
Kwame Brown
Joel Przybilla
Etan Thomas
Mateen Cleaves
Courtney Alexander
Devean George

And this is just in RECENT years! Go back a decade or more and you'll find:

Dallas Comegys
Derrick Chievous
Tom Hammonds
Pooh Richardson
Rumeal Robinson
Jerrod Mustaf
Anthony Avent
Scott Haskin
Sharone Wright
Khalid Reeves
Bill Curley

The lesson? Scouting SUCKS.

Sports Draft BUSTS - The NFL

2006-04-28T10:31:00.000-07:00

With the NFL draft in the immediate future, football fans are clamoring for the fall's return of their beloved sport. Fans also enjoy to relive "draft nostalgia" and look at some of the star studded drafts of years past. Every draft is bound to have a handful of busts. What's truly amazing is that teams pay their scouts good money and devote large amounts of time towards learning about the players that are available and what their potential at the next level will be. Some of the results are...well, PATHETIC. Who's to blame? Is it the player's fault for simply underperforming at the pro level, or is it simply awful scouting? As you enjoy tomorrow's NFL draft, try to pick out which of the 1st rounders chosen tomorrow (and certainly some of them will) will become the next:

Broderick Thomas
Dan McGwire
Antone Davis
David Klingler
Eugene Chung
Rick Mirer
Garrison Hearst
Andre Ware
Percy Snow
Blair Thomas
Keith McCants
Steve Emtman
Quentin Coryatt
Heath Shuler
Ki-Jana Carter
Tim Couch
Curtis Enis
Akili Smith
Cade McNown
Brian Bosworth
Freddie Mitchell
Brent Fullwood

So, as you watch the draft, and watch the jubilant 1st rounders wearing the caps of their new teams on their heads and holding their new jerseys in front of them, don't forget the BUSTS!

See iKarma (IKMA) lately?

2006-04-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Recall that iKarma, ticker symbol IKMA was talked about a few days ago as a likely "pump and dump" penny stock scheme. Well, not surprisingly, take a look at the chart today. The stock has plunged from 32 cents to 19 cents in two days. This manipulation is truly criminal. Mass unsolicited emails were sent out a few days ago to buy the stock "because news was coming out" and the email also attempted to draw comparisons with MySpace's success. How many suckers bought the stock after receiving this email? I'll gamble that a few did and said, "Hey what's a 1,000 bucks." These scams are very reminiscient of the movie "Boiler Room" and the episode of "The Sopranos" where Tony and Chris are running a "brokerage " firm. Lesson to investors out there: the next "Google" will not be "recommended" to you in an unsolicited email. But the next "Theglobe.com" might be.

CNBC and Bob Pisani Inane Comments Continue

2006-04-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

For those of you who may have missed it, Bob just said that "There is a huge debate going on right now here (meaning the NYSE floor where he is stationed) about how the weak dollar will affect the stock market." I don't buy this for a second. $2 brokers and Dinosaur specialists are not debating the merits of a weak dollar, nor are they qualified to do so. Let me rephrase what Bob really meant. "There is a huge debate going on right now here on who the Jets and Giants will select in the 1st round of the NFL draft this weekend." That's what's really going on down there.

Penny Stock Scams and Spams

2006-04-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

Is anyone seeing more in the way of "investment" literature emphasizing never heard of penny stocks and obscure Pink Sheets and OTC Bulletin board stocks in recent months. I've received hashed together "newsletters" in the mail in addition to a number of emails from people with ridiculously sounding names. The subject matter is always an obscure stock that generally trades for less than a dollar, but has made a sharp move in recent days. One such example is a company called iKarma, ticker symbol IKMA. Look at the chart for this thing. The stock has moved from 6 cents to 31 cents in the matter of about a week. Now I received the "touting" email just today, after the 500% move. How many saps ran out there today and bought some stock and said "well it's only 31 cents, how much can I lose?" Rule of thumb...don't buy stocks that an email spammer recommends! Come on, use some common sense. These solicitations are no better than those that try to lure you into buying a Viagra substitute or Male Enhancement pills for "her pleasure." Do you respond to those "ads" too?

American Idol - The Formula Works

2006-04-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

While not a regular viewer of American Idol, I'll admit to watching the preliminary episodes each season to see who gets kicked off and which acts are obviously staged by the show's producers in an effort to "force" comedy. I however watch zero episodes during the season because I don't find singing cover songs to be particularly interesting. Apparently my views contrast with the majority of the television viewing public. Loyal watchers crowd around televisions by the boatload to watch each and every episode of this show. I guess I just have some questions for you viewers:

1. Is it the drama of competition, and the fact that someone faces certain elimination each week that keeps bringing you back?

2. Do you stay tuned to hear how badly Simon will rip into the contestants?

3. Or do you truly enjoy mediocre singing of cover songs?

Let's face it, the answer cannot be #3 because you can go to your corner bar and hear mediocre versions of cover songs all night. There's a lot to be said about "singers" who have the ability to write and perform their own music and those who sing strictly covers. If you're a fan of music and you see no difference between the two types of artists, you are truly doing a disservice to the artists and yourselves. As for "American Idol," the formula they have is working, so whatever the case, they are keeping viewers all season (even if it seems for some inexplicable purpose) and carrying them over into the following seasons.

David Lee Roth, Satellite Radio, and The Uncertain Future

2006-04-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

What's next for the whiny wannabe brainiac bore me to tears "radio host" David Lee Roth? Does one person in America miss his travesty of a morning show? I haven't heard too many complaints. As much as I find Stern's show decreasing in quality over the years, Roth's exit has to play positively for his cause and that of satellite radio. I wouldn't go as far as to say that people will race out to pay for satellite service if they don't already have it, but the trend of CBS using syndicated material from Opie and Anthony from XM Radio to fill the void left by Roth's departure is landmark event. Let's put this in perspective. Less than 5 years ago satellite radio companies were in business by a thread, and they had the stock prices to prove it. XMSR was underwater for the early part of the 21st century and had massive debt problems. Now, old time "free" radio is going to syndicate programming (and no doubt only air select segments that are edited and watered down) from their satellite competitors. Times like these make strange bedfellows as the old saying goes. Traditional "free" radio seems to be hoping to survive in this new, rapidly changing environment. This will be an interesting saga for years to come.

More Stock Market Misinformation from CNBC

2006-04-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

Bob Pisani, the Sage Of Wall Street, has struck again. Yesterday was decidedly another down day for the major markets and our friend Bob blamed "Strong Consumer Confidence Numbers." Today we have spent a large part of the day in positive territory (although the markets seem to be weakening in the final hour) and Bob said it's because of "Good Economic news." So let's get this straight, high levels of consumer confidence will crush the stock market and good economic news will cause a rally? Why do we have to hear this gamut list of "reasons" on why the market is up or down? If these reasons were accurate it would be a different story, but when The Market Wizard gives us clouded, conflicting advice with a firm posturing it makes us want to put a foot through the television set. Better yet, let's switch over to Bloomberg TV. Bob doesn't work there does he?

David Lee Roth Radio DONE

2006-04-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/20/roth.radio.ap/index.html

As reported today on CNN, it's over for David Lee and his sorry radio show. This should rank as one of the least unexpected decisions in entertainment history. I'd like to predict that his yanking will now result in him "blaming" CBS for dismantling his show and forcing this "unevitable" end. You will not see David Lee lay any of the accountability for this debacle on himself. The sad part is, he signed a 3 or 4 year deal with CBS before the show even aired its first episode. I sincerely hope for CBS' sake that they can absolve themselves from some of the financial liability for paying this idiot for the next three years. A nightmare from Day One, the American listening public can finally wake up from this painful torment.

NBA/NFL Draft Busts www.baseballcarddeath.com

2006-04-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

www.baseballcarddeath.com has unveiled a new page, "Sports Draft BUSTS!" which can be found at:

http://baseballcarddeath.com/Sports_Draft_BUSTS_.php

Visit the page to discuss a favorite topic and send your additions to our list of Draft busts in the past 20 years in pro basketball and football. Kenny "Sky" Walker anyone? Or how about Dallas Comegys or Alaa Abdelnaby? Some of our girdiron favorites include David Klingler, Dan McGwire, Tim Couch, and Andre Wadsworth.

Baseball Player QUOTES and FACTS Submit your OWN today!

2006-04-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

www.baseballcarddeath.com, an affiliate website, now provides ballplayer quotes and facts such as these...

Marvis Foley - Marvis, well known for his crooning skills, and labeled by as "The White Barry White," had a number of gold records during his playing career. These included "MARV-elous, "Let Marvis Take You Home," "Marvis Gonna Make You Wet," "Marvis Told You So," and "Marvis Spells SEX if you remove the M, A, R, V and I and Add An E and X and Jumble The Word Around A Bit."

Submit your OWN player facts today by visiting http://www.baseballcarddeath.com/Player_QUOTES_and_FACTS.php or the homepage,
www.baseballcarddeath.com

David Lee Roth Radio Show The Death Knell

2006-04-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well not just yet...but it has to be awfully close . As mentioned in a previous post where we were looking for your comments of the boring, formulaic, and non-entertaining David Lee Roth Radio Show, the show's monotony continues, but now is under the gun of the management team at the radio stations. Apparently the rash of complaints from the listening public has finally pierced the stubborn armor of management and they recently ordered Roth to make drastic changes..or else. Read on for yourself...

NEW YORK (Associated Press, March 31, 2006) - David Lee Roth says he won't jump from his gig as a morning radio host. Roth, who replaced shock jock Howard Stern on seven stations in January, has struggled in making the move from rock star to radio host. But during his Friday show, the former Van Halen frontman vowed to stick with it _ although he acknowledged that problems continue.
"I'm going to give it a try," Roth told his audience. "I've invested too much in this show not to."
Roth's show underwent drastic changes last week, with the removal of his three on-air sidekicks and the ditching of background music. According to Roth, he received four letters in five days from CBS Radio officials demanding "extensive changes" in his four-hour show.
The rocker complained that CBS executives had failed to offer him enough support when the show first made its debut.
"I didn't know what I was doing," Roth said. "I asked for rehearsal, and they didn't give it to me."
Failure to comply meant "termination or disciplinary action," said Roth, whose show airs in New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Dallas and West Palm Beach, Fla.

Something tells us that canning the host of lame sidekicks and ditching the background music might cure some of the shows ills, but it doesn't remove the cancer, which is Roth himself. He's not interesting, predictable, formulaic, and was tired after about day three or four. This madness will not go on for more than 2 months from here.

Howard Stern Begging For Business

2006-04-03T08:54:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in previous posts about the demise of Howard Stern, nothing could support this case like a recent article published in the Associated Press. Read on:

NEW YORK (Associated Press, March 31, 2006) - Howard Stern is angry more fans haven't followed him to satellite radio. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, the 52-year-old shock jock lashes out at those of his fan base who haven't made the transition to Sirius Satellite Radio.

In January, Stern moved his popular and bawdy morning show to the subscription satellite radio provider.
"I was just at my psychiatrist and I said, `I just got great news: We hit the 4 million mark. And I'm angry. It should be 20 million,'" Stern says in the magazine, on newsstands Monday.

"It's insulting to me that everyone hasn't come with me. I take it personally," he says.

"I want to say to my audience ... `You haven't come with me yet? How dare you? We're up to wild, crazy stuff, the show has never sounded better. You cheap bastard!'"

In February, CBS Radio, formerly known as Infinity Broadcasting, filed a lawsuit against Stern for improperly using airtime to promote his new show on Sirius.
Stern has claimed the lawsuit is without merit.

It's truly entertaining that Stern is "angry" and "insulted" that people won't just blindly pay for Sirius satellite radio since he "says that the new show is outrageous." Why not run a free sample promotion? Why not give potential customers a month of free service? Instead, we as listeners are supposed to just go from free FM radio to pay radio because "Howard says we should." Why don't you dig into your deep pockets and help some of us out when it comes to paying these Sirius costs? Or better yet...go back to 1995 and actually make your show enjoyable again and listeners will come on their own. Stop talking about "Beth" and your "girlfriend" and your "dog" and "finding bunny rabbits in the park." But Howard, you can't do that, you jumped the shark years ago. You're finished.

www.BaseballCardDeath.com adds new Players/Cards. Submit your QUOTES and FACTS today!

2006-03-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

www.baseballcarddeath.com has added new Cards/Players to its QUOTES and FACTS page. These "favorites" are waiting to be labeled by you! Submit your QUOTES and FACTS about these players today! We are always adding more players and are relying on your input. While you're at the site, be sure to enter the FREE CARD GIVEAWAY as winners are drawn daily!

www.BaseballCardDeath.com launches Player QUOTES and FACTS

2006-03-27T09:24:00.000-08:00

www.baseballcarddeath.com, a newly launched website, now offers Player QUOTES and FACTS alongside pictures of some of your favorite baseball players from years past. Visit the site today to submit your OWN Quotes and Facts and also be sure to enter the FREE Baseball Card Giveaway with winners chosen daily!

www.BaseballCardDeath.com has been officially launched!

2006-03-22T11:02:00.000-08:00

As promised by this site, www.BaseballCardDeath.com has been officially launched beginning yesterday!

www.BaseballCardDeath.com is an informative and farcical site serving baseball collectors of the 1980s and 1990s. The site focuses on the momentous decline of baseball card prices in the past 15 years or so. The site is looking to interact with visitors and is actively seeking submissions, stories, etc. from collectors to share their experiences and/or horror stories in the realm of card collecting. Also, the site is boasting a FREE BASEBALL CARD GIVEAWAY to visitors, with literally no strings attached.

BaseballCardDeath.com
an Icomplain.net company
wu@icomplain.net

Demise of Howard Stern Part II: I Hope You Sold Your Sirius Stock!

2006-03-14T06:53:00.000-08:00

As predicted earlier, the demise of Howard Stern continues. Just take a look at SIRI (Sirius Satellite Radio) stock recently (down 33% since the beginning of 2006 and trading near its lowest levels in 52 weeks) What happened to all of the promised revenue increases via a spike in subscriber numbers at these Satellite Radio companies (i.e. note that XMSR is sucking wind lately too)? I haven't heard a peep from anyone who has "made the switch" to Sirius as a loyal Howard Stern follower about how "great" or "outrageous" the show is. And Stern followers should know that he has made his living on "buzz" and "hype." If no one is talking about Howard, that's a bad sign, a VERY bad sign. Stern, I appreciate your past works greatly, but its time to hang up the cleats. 55 year olds just aren't cool...and never have been, so stop the charade. Get married, play with your dog and your bunny rabbit in the park, and bewail "the old days" when you were a force to be reckoned with. For those days are now over.

UFOs and Space..Who Gives A Damn Anymore!

2006-03-10T08:13:00.000-08:00

Time warp yourself back to the 1980s for a moment...and think about the obsession everyone had with space, aliens, UFOs and the like. I recall being fascinated by the possibility of seeing a UFO outside of my home and was hooked on TV Specials about space related phenomena. If you have any doubts about the high level of obsession that engulfed our society during that decade let me offer the following evidence:

Movies of the 80s on the "Space Obsession" trip: The Last Starfighter, Flight Of The Navigator, E.T., DARYL, Alien(s), Batteries Not Included, Alien Nation Now and countless others.

TV Shows: Buck Rogers, Battlestar Galactica, Dinosaucers, and I'm sure a host of others if you care to remind me of a few.

I'm not even going to get into the hundreds of space motivated video games that were published during the decade.

Who seriously gives a damn about "space" anymore?

Team USA Baseball...Why I'm NOT shocked

2006-03-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

I watched a bit of the Team USA baseball debacle yesterday against Team Canada and unlike the rest of the popular press, sports radio gurus, and ESPN analysts, I'm just not terribly shocked. "Team USA" sports have been disappointing fans routinely in the past few years. People have to remember the US Olympic basketball team getting massacred by the likes of Puerto Rico and not even winning a medal. And how about those U.S. hockey "stars" who have now failed to medal in two straight Olympic competitions? Recall the "hotel incidents" of the US Olympic hockey team who were "pissed" that they weren't handed victory...as if it would be that simple, and decided to ransack their hotel rooms as a response for their terrible defeats. I see a few consistent themes here that are contributing to the disappointment and regression of "US National" Team sports:

1. The "US spirit" is not even close to that of the other teams competing in these events. Just look at the following of jubilant, flag waving fans that teams like the Dominican Republic and Panama have at their games. It's not at the same level among the players, coaches, nor the fans. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, nor am I pounding the table on patriotism, as I really don't give a damn for the record, but these are the facts.

2. U.S. professional sports players put their own well being first when it comes to these "Exhibition" games. Why would a player give 100% in a "Baseball Classic" during the preseason and risk injury? If the U.S. wins, no one will care, and many will say that the victories were expected. There is clearly little to gain in these games and players will be happy just emerging in a healthy state and prepared to earn their lofty salaries once the regular season begins.

Now, are you REALLY "shocked" that the U.S. stars keep on losing? It has nothing to do with talent, and has everything to do with effort and commitment. For the record, I don't even give a damn if they lose. I'm just not going to act "stunned" and "embarassed to the point of speechlessness" when they do. I've come to expect failure and disappointment. Welcome to my life.

IComplain

David Lee Roth Radio Show COMMENTS??

2006-03-09T07:07:00.000-08:00

Does anyone really care for David Lee Roth's radio show? I'm hearing rumors that he's going to be yanked soon is this true? All I know is that it's pretty hard to tolerate the show. It's very uninteresting and reading through some thoughts of others online, it seems like I'm not the only one who thinks this way. He's the classic "I'm so cool I gotta wear shades" type personality. In reality, he's a has been. He's been a has been for nearly 15 years now. Although I can't say I despise his show, I definitely dislike it, mainly because it's not fun, not enlightening, and all his supporting cast does is laugh at his jokes and play bad music during punchlines. How contrived! And what's with the chick on the show who sounds like Herman Munster? Brutal. I can't see how this agony can continue.

"Street Kids" - as seen in Malibu's Most Wanted

2006-02-27T11:33:00.000-08:00

This column is dedicated to those thuggish gangstas who relocate from inner city schools to "country" schools much like mine in years past.

“Whas’ up yo!” Okay, some of these kids have roots in the city. But, I'm not going to go as far as to grant them total street cred since many are from gangsta paradises such as Long Island and suburban New Jersey. Just because you move to the country from a “city” doesn’t grant you the gangsta lean that you think you somehow deserve. Come on. If your parents hadn’t been worried about your upbringing and getting your ass kicked everyday by real thugs, they would have never moved you away from the city to begin with. And if you really were so “hard”, why the hell would you have to leave the city? Couldn’t you fight your own battles in the “streets?” Whatever the case, the bottom line was these kids were mostly phonies. You had the saggy pants, two strap backpack wearing kid who drew amateur graffiti with sharpie pens on his sneakers and clothing. So by creating “tags” with bubble letters you are proving to me that you grew up in the worst circumstances in the “hood? Jackasses like Vanilla Ice and Marky Mark just reinforced the image. Real disadvantaged youth from hellholes like Compton and Watts existed on MTV and deserved all the credibility in the world, but then there were also the phony white kids who acted all hard and transformed their “whitespeak” into a loose tongued southern-slang sounding mangling of the English language. “Whas’ up B?” The lanky white kid from the Garden State, yes, he worked on his father’s TOMATO farm in New Jersey and had migrated to the suburbs in the tri state area and had all of a sudden gained a “street” accent, and thought that he had qualified for Section 8. It just didn’t make any sense. You cant’ “transform” yourself into a hardcore gangsta. If you weren’t forced to live that way due to your surroundings then you’re just a phony ass punk who deserves scorn. If only "Malibu’s Most Wanted" had been released about ten years earlier so that these dumbasses could have seen themselves on the big screen.

Hate your old Apartment? RATE IT NOW

2006-02-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder if your roach infested, fire hazard, mice breeding ground shell of an apartment that was planted squarely in the ghetto is still around? Are you like myself and "can't BELIEVE" that you actually paid rent to live in such obscene conditions for so long? And are you also like me and you didn't complain much because of lack of time, motivation, and/or you just didn't know any better. Well, now is your chance. A "must visit" website is

http://www.apartmentratings.com/

Check it out now and rip your former (or current) apartment building and landlords apart. I have had a lot of fun with this...the message postings have become so heated that one of the "slumlords" has taken offense at our railing and actually started posting "response" messages on the site and I and a few other former tenants keep going back and forth with the clown about our stellar living experiences in their gracious quarters. Unleash that hostility from years past now.

Dick Vitale (ESPN) Please SIT DOWN

2006-02-27T09:51:00.000-08:00

Dickie V...I've endured you for simply too long. I've been following college basketball since 1988 and your Duke and North Carolina love affair has chased me through junior high, high school, college, and now as an adult. "Diaper dandy baby!", "J.J. Redick Baby!", "The Dukies Baby!"

DICK. This is uninteresting, boring, systematic, and it alienates anyone who doesn't like these two teams! Now, I'll admit that your energy is somewhat of a novelty for awhile and I will in no way dispute your basketball knowledge or enthusiasm, but COME ON. Talk about something else and stop cheerleading your favorite teams, you're a broadcaster not a booster!

That said, two new authorities have entered the picture Rece Davis and Doug Gottlieb. I believe their show is called "College Hoops Gameday" or something like that, and these guys really know what they are talking about. Plus they cover the WORLD of college hoops, not just DUKE, and not just UNC. They spoke about Washington, Gonzaga, George Washington, etc. recently and it was like a breath of fresh air from Vitale's biased, uninteresting world of cheerleading.

Still Ranting About Rap!

2006-02-25T21:08:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'm still on this "I can't figure out what happened to rap" kick. Snoop Dogg used to be a bonafide gangsta and now he's EVERYWHERE. He's on lame "white" movies, awful commercials for soda and other mainstream products...am I the only one who noticed that with age these rappers seem to sell out royally to the almighty dollar? What happened to "It's 1-8-7 on an undercover cop...yeahhh". That seems like such a far fetched joke at this point...did his gangsta phase even happen?

And what about Ice Cube? I know that he is like 43 now or something, but he's making movies! Are you kidding me? He was once the equivalent of a modern day Black Panther calling the white man the devil among other things and rapping about the hard life in the street! Is this what happens with age? Do you really get that soft with some money in your pocket? Now he's making movies in Hollywood the likes of "Anaconda?" Where did all of the anger and hostility go Cube? Were you just playing all of those years? Surely there has to be a better "Life After Rap" than this.

Hey, maybe I'm way off base, after all, I'm a suburban white kid who has never had, nor tried to attain street cred. I don't act phony, don't play the fake slang accent, and don't try to act hard. There's no reason to. I just find it hard to believe that no one out there feels a little puzzled and insulted that formerly "angry" rappers who spit a lot of venom back in the day in their songs, have all become "changed men" and have merged with Hollywood. It makes rappers no better than the pandering Hollywoodites I've spoken about. Does ANYONE stay "True To
The Game" for the long haul? Or is everyone relegated to Madonna like "Phases" where they shift from one popular idea to the next at the discretion of overpaid Beverly Hills producers who don't know about "Ain't A Damn Thing Changed?"

White Guy's Take On Rap Music Part II

2006-02-25T14:05:00.000-08:00

What in god's name happened to the street credibility of rap music since the early to mid 90s?Why is it again acceptable for "anyone" to become a rapper? Why has rap music become so "Hollywood" and glitz and glamour? If I were an 80's to early 90s rapper I would literally be rolling in my grave about all of the MTV fueled and commercialist "Rap" music that exists today. At one time not long ago, rap music and the artists held some credibility as being "real" and having "real experiences" to draw upon. They strayed away from Hollywood...expensive productions and videos and movies were shunned, and the ways of the street were seen as the way to a successful product. Nowadays, rap has become ridiculously commercial and has gained widespread acceptability. White guy says this is selling out! This is absurd! Why would you "mainstream" your coveted culture to a bunch of goofy ass Southern redneck white kids who don't give a damn what you are rapping about and for the life of themselves cannot comprehend it and are still closet racists? Selling more CD's and/or MP3's is apparently the answer. I WISH that an old school rapper a la Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five or a Big Daddy Kane would step up and say "Why are all these lame assed, suburban punk, rich white kids listening to my goddamn music! I don't give a f*** that I'm selling more copies than ever. This is a f****' joke! These kids are relatives of slaveowning, white collared, blue blooded, wasp f**** and they are pretending that they know of my struggle and think its cool to "act black?" They can go f*** themselves, I don't care if they buy my record or not!" Why is every rapper today so accepting of this lame ass, fake ass, phony white fan base? Because the goddam producers are all rich white guys too! They all want to MAKE MONEY. Principles, meaning, and making points went out the window years ago. It's all about selling records and forsakening your motives. RAP TODAY IS A SINCERE AND COMMERCIAL JOKE.

White Guy's Take on Rap Music Part I

2006-02-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

Back before the days of Eminem and ultimate "whiteboy" acceptability and credibility in the realm of rap music, there was a time where white kids were just "listeners." For example, a white kid bred in a "safe" area in the suburbs such as myself had no business "acting hard" and wearing my jeans low, wearing Timberlands, and carrying my bookbag on my back with "two straps" as opposed to one. Kids like me somehow convinced the disadvantaged, "gang inclined" street kids kids in my high school that they "were hard too." Mangling the English language with a loose tongued southern-slang sounding version of "whitespeak" seemed acceptable to many of the peeps that had a real reason to be a pissed off gangsta. I just didn't get it. You could tell the country bred white kid from the kid who migrated from New York or New Jersey a mile away. One kid lived a disadvantaged childhood and his parents for whatever reason decided to relocate to a "safer" area for the better development of their kids. The other kids was a country suburban bumfuck lifer, who somehow latched onto the hip-hop culture in attempts to blend in with the cool crowd. And you losers ALLOWED IT!?? For some ridiculous reason you refused to recognize what was put right in front of you and recognized these bumpkin f***ks as hardcore street kids. THIS is what spawned today's emergence of suburban gangstas. It's such an inane joke, these kids know nothing about struggle, and nothing about hard times. And they simply mimic dialects and accents that they hear about on tv an rap cd's in lame attempts to "sound black." The phoniness is a joke, someone stand up and stop this B.S. now!

Bayside High Says......

2006-02-25T13:46:00.000-08:00

The Bayside High Gang says:

"Complaining is good for the soul. Complaining makes one feel complete. Bitching and whining and refusing to accept what one's given is key to happiness in this world. You complain, we complain, IComplain!"

Demise Of Howard Stern

2006-02-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

As a longtime Stern listener, but one who did not follow the icon to Sirius Satellite Radio mostly out of a growing disinterest and not financial reasons, I'd like to make a prophecy:

Stern's success as we know it is coming to an abrupt end.

Let's face the damn facts. How old is this guy? 52? How many "cool" 52 year olds are there? Moreover, how many cool 60 year olds are there? Stern's "coolometer" if you will is plunging in recent years because he's just not the same guy he was 8-10 years ago. First his bitching and whining about "being the pioneer of radio" and how everyone is biting off of him, etc, etc. I'm not going to argue that he doesn't have a point, but he loses my interest really quickly when whining becomes the focal point of a show that used to be funny. Secondly, he talks about his female pet dog, and finding bunny rabbits in the park, and Comic Books! Are you kidding me? What is this sappy b.s.? The same guys who tune in to hear porn stars and models talk about their adventures can't possibly be excited with these ridiculous topics. Stern has become so comfortable with his dominance on radio that he is alientated his core audience in favor of "doing whatever he wants to do, and if you don't like it you can leave" routine. Sickening. And he expects me to pay for more of it? To listen to a 50 something guy crow about his girlfriend and how she wants to get married and whatever miscellaneous runaway animal you found in the park last week? No Thanks Howie.

You lost me...I hit my Stern Peak in 1998 but since then its been a steady course downhill into the realm of "Old Bitter Guy Morning Show" antics. Retire now when you still have your self respect.

"Not Economically Viable!"

2006-02-23T10:22:00.000-08:00

"For seven years, I banked here. When I asked them for a loan,a small loan. . . . .they told me that I was not"economically viable. "

"Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. How'd your loan work out?Did they give you a loan?
He must be economically viable! There's a man with a smiling face. A happy customer. That's what an economically viable person looks like! "

"I asked them for a small loan.You know what they told me?

"I was not economically viable."

"Briefcase" - Falling Down CLASSIC FLICK

2006-02-23T09:49:00.000-08:00

"How about that briefcase?"

"Good idea. "

"Give us your briefcase, man."

"I' m not giving you my goddamn briefcase."

"Motherfucker, give us your motherfucking briefcase!"

"Want my briefcase?"

"I'll get it for you, all right?"

"You want my briefcase?"

"Here's my briefcase!"

"Where are you going? You forgot the briefcase!"

GRADY SAYS: "COMMENTS? COMMENTS ANYONE?"

2006-02-23T09:41:00.000-08:00

GRADY SAYS: "COMMENTS? COMMENTS ANYONE?"

"Ideally I'd like to develop a forum of continuous banter, trading barbs back and forth, and destructive comments and criticism. I don't care if you agree with me, disagree, want to rip me apart, etc. The idea is to post your opinions, whether they mesh with mine or not. Unlike Howard Stern, I won't "hang up on you" when you don't agree with me. Criticizing and bewailing the characteristics of others has become a second career for me if you will, so I shouldn't expect anything less in return from the public readers out there.

Baseball Cards Part III - "Realities" (www.baseballcarddeath.com)

2006-02-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

****PLEASE SEE PREVIOUS POSTS ABOUT BASEBALL CARDS AS THIS IS PART III OF A SEQUENTIAL, ONGOING SAGA OF DEMORALIZATION AND BITTERNESS AND HOPES AND DREAMS THAT WENT UP IN SMOKE FOR ALL MALES WHO GREW UP IN THE 1980s-1990s****

Those taking the "hold" approach with respect to their collections are simply kidding themselves. Think of it in this perspective. The cards that you have from the 1980s and 1990s were once considered valuable....well according to prices that you PAID for the cards and quoted prices in publications like Beckett they were. How many of you actually sold your cards for those same quoted prices? Hey i'm not ridiculing anyone, I didn't sell one! And now I'm left with the massive basement clearance sale that I can't even get off the goddamn ground.

1. For the market to "bounce back", baseball itself first needs to be revitalized among the youth of today. Do you see it happening? And if the answer is yes, then the baseball card market needs to re-invent itself somehow. The last time I checked kids were buying the new X-Box and asking for I-Pod Nanos for Christmas. And these kids are roughly the same age as I was during my "baseball card phase." Baseball cards will never overtake today's affordable, and easily obtained technological gadgets. And why would they? Think about the probability of is this happening. Secondly, the people who drove up the prices in the early 90s were young kids (who are in their twenties now) and old men (and probably some hideous women too) who ran the "Card and Hobby Shops." The inventories of these "kids" grew over the years as they purchased packs, attended card shows, etc. and these consumers were mostly "buyers." The buyers kept taking in inventory, and the shopkeepers were sellers. Now any shopkeeper who made a sale and refused to replenish that inventory probably made out quite well. But those who thought the boom would last forever likely got their ass handed to them. Just put it in perspective. Upper Deck cards were the hottest thing around in 1989-1991, with Griffey Jr. cards (now what a disappointment he turned out to be, remember all of the hype??) commanding hundreds of dollars. Today, I cannot even sell a sealed, mint SET of the cards from that year for 49 cents. The word depreciation doesn't fit this scenario, its more like a momentous dive.

2. For the card market to rebound, there needs to be a resurgence of interest. This resurgence can't possibly come from those who are already stockpiling cards in hopes that their prices will bounce back. New buyers, new aficionados need to enter the market. Please get back to me if you can argue logically that these items will rebound to late 80s-early 90s mania prices.

3. Statistical records are obliterated routinely and rather easily these days. Remember when Jose Canseco's "40-40 club" was a big deal? No one even gives a shit about that anymore. How about the infamous late 1980s Topps "30-30 Club" member cards? Howard Johnson being one of the "esteemed" members. Do young baseball fans today even know who the hell Hojo is? My point is that records are broken year after year, and the juiced baseball really helps this. Jesse Barfield.... (note NOT in the Hall of Fame, and who the hell even remembers him at this point) hit something like 49 homers in the late 80s. This was considered a TON back then. As we now know, today's "superior" ballplayers can hit well more, hell, even shortstops can crank 40 like it's no one's business. So the value that is built into cards as the player breaks or sets new records, diminishes as his record is broken in future years and he gradually fades into obscurity.

WORST Ebay Item for Sale EVER - Wawa Coffee CUPS!???

2006-02-22T11:42:00.000-08:00

Please if you will, search "Completed Items" on ebay with the keyword "Wawa Coffee Cups." What you will find is one of the most desperate attempts to sell garbage on the internet in recent recollection. This guy is trying to capitalize on Wawa's "update" of their coffee cup by creating false demand for used cups on Ebay. You gotta be kidding me dude. "Stained" coffee cups for your collection? Who is that much off their rocker that they would buy this s*** from you? If I really wanted to add germ laden, s*** brown stained, old wet coffee stinking, cups to my "collection", I should be brought up on charges. This isn't only gross, it's creepy and sounds like a bioterrorism attempt in a way.

As an added bonus, this Ebay freak also is self promoting himself on Craigslist. He has a picture of the same Wawa cups that are listed on Ebay on his Craigslist posting, with a cryptic message "Ebay collectors' item? I just saw these cups listed on ebay! Start hoarding them now!" And the p.o.s. is charging $8 in shipping? $8 to ship two paper, stained coffee cups?

The depraved self promotion is shameless. Is it any shock that this clown had zero bidders on the item? Remind me to go through the dumpster behind work before I leave today and rummage some things for Ebay.

Wiffle Ball World Series (excerpt from book)

2006-02-17T11:32:00.001-08:00

Wiffle Ball World Series

Benny was a really bad sport. Benny had a front porch that smelled of onions that his mother was storing for some inexplicable purpose. And his father toyed with taxidermy on the side and always had decaying animal parts in the “garage.” Nice place to visit huh? Oh, and if you felt hot in the summertime and wanted to take a dip in the pool, you would be joined by a family of frogs that swam better than you did. Benny’s backyard was a legendary Wiffle Ball field. Armed with handwritten “lineups” consisting of ballplayers of the day, Jimmy would occasionally challenge Benny to a game or two of Wiffle Ball. Wiffle Ball was always an inexact science, and the rules really depended on who and where you were playing. The standard Wiffle Ball rules were really no fun, i.e. “you have to hit the ball “X” number of feet for a single, double, triple, etc.” The hell with that. Benny and Jimmy visualized a baseball diamond complete with fielders stationed in the proper areas and would “estimate” whether a ball that was hit would drop into centerfield for a clean single or would be scooped up by the fielder. Of course, these estimations would lead to much debate. Jimmy would occasionally crank one to deep left field that was grabbed by an outstretched tree limb, effectively “stealing” a home run from the slugger. Benny would rarely admit that the ball would have traveled the proper distance for a home run if it had not been interfered with by the tree branch. Fights would always ensue. Bats would be thrown across the yard. The “Pitch Back” net that was utilized as the standard Wiffle Ball strike zone/ball return would be severely damaged by temper tantrums involving the plastic bats and flailing amateur roundhouse kicks. But it was all justified, for this was the Wiffle Ball World Series!
Following a draining 9 inning game the boys could always rely on Benny’s mother to provide nourishing food in her kitchen. Though rarely at home, she would leave favorites such as Banquet Pot Pies that had expired 3 ½ years prior and had Instant Rebate Offers for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle magnets on them…nevermind that this was 1994. DEEELICIOUS, can I have another?

Pisani On Options Expiration

2006-02-17T06:14:00.000-08:00

I'm here to document things that others refuse to do. During last month's options expiration in January, the market was in a sharp downturn. In fact, CNBC's Bob Pisani had the audacity to "blame" the weakness in the market on options expiration itself. The impact of options expiration on the marketplace is at best debateable, but a down day is a down day, and a downtrend, is just that. There is no "blaming" something like options expiration simply to placate the Joe Investors who tune in to CNBC and rely on Bob's ill informed market cheerleading as reassurance from an old pro on "why the market is not up today." These lines of poor reasoning simply reinforce bad investing strategies, and create a base of false knowledge in investors who do not make their careers within the financial sector. Thus, today is February options expiration, and I will wager my HOUSE, that if the market is up today, Pisani will NOT "blame" the event of expiration for "exaggerating" the buying. Bob "The Bull" would never do that. It's that simple.

Valentine's Day

2006-02-15T11:10:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, everyone should read the article on MSN.com today titled

"Florida teen sends roses to 500 classmates
High school junior says he wanted to ‘put a smile’ on the girls’ faces".

According to this fine article, a youngster at a Florida high school sent wishes to girls in his class that said, “To all the lovely ladies of 2007, here’s wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day. Affectionately, Paul Kim.”

Also MSN reports that "He said he used money he had been saving since his birthday in December to pay for the roses, which cost about $900."

Now, for my take on this?

Paul Kim, what the hell is the matter with you? 900 freakin' bucks just to get laid?! From some inexperienced, flat-chested high school broad? Come on, you can get a nice high priced hooker for that! Mr. Kim....I highly suggest you knock of this sappy b.s. and use your head instead of your wallet next time you dumb f***.

Jim Cramer

2006-02-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

UARM down 21% (more than $8) following Cramer's "buy into earnings" holler on his "Stop Trading" segment on CNBC on 2/6. You gotta be kidding me. Stay away from these earnings calls Cramer. The calls that this guy is making lately...he knows nothing more than you or I, he just flips the coin hundreds times more than us and has more dartboards in his basement.

Kickball and Bunting

2006-02-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

Every damn gym class circa 6th grade played kickball at some point. And every damn gym class had the kid who refused to give the ball a real kick and instead half stepped up to the ball and “bunted.” The bunt was really a tap with the side of the foot and the ball would putter away from home plate by generally less than five feet. Since most kickball games didn’t have catchers, or had inept ones at that, the “bunt” was a pretty solid strategy for one who wished to get an “automatic” hit. However, most circles recognize the bunter as a chump mofo who thinks he’s really fast and doesn’t care about self denigration in front of future hottie girls by looking like a wimp ass and refusing to really kick the ball. The bunter generally becomes a failure in life. The bunter works at Sunoco during high school and afterwards becomes the mini-mart manager and may even work a night shift as a security guard. The bunter has no morals and no ambitions. The bunter is Satan.

"She says I'm living too much in the past."

2006-02-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

Enough said.

He's crying 'cause his cards are WORTHLESS now too!

2006-02-03T12:11:00.000-08:00

McGwire. Remember his infamous U.S. Olympic Team Card?? WOW. Good thing I carefully stored that one over the years....

BRUTALBRUTALBRUTALBRUTALBRUTALBRUTAL!

Pisanied Again!

2006-02-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

Market down big again today...after being down the past few sessions. Bobby P. just said it's because we are "afraid of further rate hikes" (I thought this reason was given for the rally last month too Bob), and that "Since January was a good month and a lot of money was made, things have slowed down since February began." You gotta be kidding me. I never realized the stock market was a month to month business that can decide to take a one month furlough because "lots of money was made last month." BOB...if business is good in any other industry...don't you try to KEEP the forward momentum going into the next month? No, you just stop dead in your tracks. Another brilliant rationalization. Keep them coming!

Must Have Gadgets for Xmas 2006!

2006-02-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

Hollywoodism

2006-02-03T11:36:00.000-08:00

The Live 8 and Post Katrina phenomenons were wonderful displays of Hollywoodism. Take Brad Pitt for example. This ageless wonder stands on a stage and tells ME why it would be a good idea to donate MY money to a cause. Why doesn’t he and his Beverly Hills pals donate their next movie paycheck entirely to a cause instead? Why doesn’t Madonna donate a year’s worth of profits to something worthwhile? Did the "Friends" do "charity" shows when they were each pulling in $1 million per episode? I think not. But I should pick up the phone and donate my $25 along with 5 million other Americans so then we can creep towards some inane goal and ultimately not reach it. Why do you have to stand there and waste time trying to nickel and dime the common people with your celebrity status when in reality your measly contributions to the cause are a small fraction of your disposable income. The math is simple…collect $10 from 1 million people out there….obviously a daunting task that demands some sort of “hard sale”, in the form of some Hollywoodite standing there and acting compassionate by reading off of cue cards. OR, you can collect $1 million for 10 different multi millionaires. For Brad Pitt, $1 million would be the equivalent of pocket lint or breakfast table donut crumbs for someone of my stature. Not to take everything out on Brad, the poor guy, it’s just that your pretty face and compassionate imagery along with that wack-assed bleach blonde hair that you had for awhile made such an impression on me. I promise to balance this out...I'll gladly launch diatribes on a number of other “philanthropists” who so generously donate their time to tell me how great an idea a donation from me would be.

Sample Market Headlines CNBC Style

2006-02-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

9:35 AM: "Market Rallies On Open on Strong Belwether CSCO Earnings"

11:00AM: "Stocks Lower After Investors Realize CSCO Hasn't Been A Bellwether in 3 Years"

12:15 PM: "Stocks Fall Even Lower As Dingbat Flies Private Plane Near White House"

12:35 PM: "Stocks Stabilize As Market Realizes This is Just One of the 496 False Rumors that is Exclusively Reported on Financial Presses - See "Suspicious Package" Headlines From the Last 9 Months.

12:45 PM: "Bin Laden Captured AGAIN….But Sources Say There Was A Hole In the Net, AGAIN"

1:05 PM: "That Zarqawi Guy Captured Too, Or At Least Someone That Looks Like Him."

1:25 PM: "Crude Oil Falls, Wall Street Cheers, "Time To Take Some ROADTRIPS!"

1:30 PM: "Stocks On A Tear with great CSCO Earnings and Cheap Oil In Mind"

1:45:PM "CORRECTION: Stocks Down on the Day As CSCO Earnings Disappoint and Crude Oil Ticks Back Up 45 Cents"

1:50 PM: "CORRECTION - Strike 1:45 PM Headline from the record and please refer to 1:30 PM Comment"

2:05 PM: "Bush To Sign $432 Billion War Spending Bill as Treasure Chest of Mystery Money Appears on Capitol Hill"

2:25 PM: "FOLLOW-UP: Private Plane From Earlier Said To Have Delivered Treasure Chest To D.C. Coffers"

2:26:PM: "Market Spikes Higher As Investors Impressed With The Vigilance Of U.S. Homeland Security Efforts Earlier."

2:30 PM: "It's 2:30 Everyone."

2:45 PM: "re: The Bush War Spending Plan: "Sources Say That the Homeless Must Be F****@@d Now."

3:00:PM "Pakistan Says They Have Isolated Bin Laden to a 5 Mile area in Southeastern Pakistan. Story First Reported 3 ½ Years Ago. They believe in a slow and steady process."

3:25:PM: "Traders Conclude Daily Dart Throw Session To Prepare For End Of the Day Buy Programs"

4:00 PM: "Market Closes Lower on Lukewarm Reaction to CSCO earnings and Fears About Crude Oil, Private Planes, and If the Spurs Will Beat The Sonics Again Tonight"

Baseball Cards Part II - "Delusions"

2006-02-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

DELUSIONS

"Every year, I still buy two or three packs just for the heck of it, just to see who I get," says Dave Kelly, 51, a Library of Congress reference librarian who specializes in sports and recreation.

"I still collect them like I did when I was 10," says Baltimore Orioles pitcher Alan Mills, 34. "It could be going to the 7-Eleven, getting some apple juice and picking up some cards."
"He's still mad at me. He thinks I threw away his baseball cards," says one exasperated mom. " 'They'd be worth millions now.' I'm quoting him: 'Millions now.' "

"Just as timeless is the equally irresistible urge for America's mothers to toss 'em, or so we claim. Moms are the ultimate scapegoats for the lost treasures of our youth."
-----Dodd, Mike. USA Today, 3/27/01

Are you kidding me? "Worth millions now?". Granted, pre-1980s cards are worth much more than the overflooded examples we talked about earlier. But everything has to be either in pristine condition, or ridiculously rare for a collector to even think about buying the damn thing from you. Seriously now...put the Beckett Price Guide away, and actually go out there and try to sell these "precious" cards. Try contacting a dealer who touts on his website "We buy unopened packs, sets of all baseball cards!" like I did. Here is what transpired in my note to them:

"Hello. I have a number of unopened, some sealed, sets of early 1990s cards. Fleer, Donruss, Upper Deck, Topps, etc. Additionally I have some oddballs like "Traded Series", Collect A Books, and some others that have never been opened. What is the protocol for doing business? I'm located in XYZ City, and would be happy to send pictures. Thanks"

Response:

"Hi there. We only buy vintage cards pre 1970. Thanks for thinking of us."

UNREAL. Even professional dealers aren't interested in the thousands of cards I carefully wasted time filing away as a kid, and to think of all of the Sundays I pissed away at "card shows." How many Hiltons and Holiday Inns do you see in your neighborhood these days with signs advertising "Baseball Card Show This Weekend"? Does the number in your head resemble a doughnut? If it did, then you just read my mind.

For the "dealer" to not even offer a bid for my cards, indicates that they are WORTHLESS. Further proof in this matter lies with Ebay, the famed online auctioneer. I've run a number of 7 day auctions recently for sealed, unopened, SETS of cards. I'm not talking about a random assortment of loose cards. For instance, the 1990 Upper Deck, Fleer, and Donruss sets were all offered individually, for a starting bid of 49 cents! NOT ONE bid, over a 7 day period! Not one! I actually lost money listing these pigs because Ebay nails you with a listing fee for each auction you participate in. If this doesn't drive the "Waste of time, money and effort" point home to you card aficionados, I don't know what will.

Baseball Card Death (www.baseballcarddeath.com)

2006-02-03T11:26:00.000-08:00

Any male that grew up in the late 1980's-early 1990's knows all about the phenomenon known as "Baseball Card Death." See www.baseballcarddeath.com soon as it is under construction.... The problem is, he doesn't know that he knows this. And who can blame one's selective memory loss here. Do you really want to be reminded of the colossal investment mistakes you made? Well, I'll play the role of Alanis Morrisette, "And I'm here to remind you..." Haha. In the early 1990s baseball cards were better than money, better than gold, hell, they were supposed to pay for college tuitions because they were such a solid investment. As everyone knows, but few can bear to admit, nothing could have been more far from the awful truth......

It's the late 1980-s early 90s. ...Remember this disaster? Look at this mess. Ultra, Minis, Special, Collect-A-Books, what happened to my simple Topps baseball cards? To say the market was flooded would be a severe understatement.

I recall in the late 1980s the Topps wax packs would retail for 40 cents, which creeped up to 45 cents, then to 50 cents by the early 90s. Then all of these "special edition" and "premium" cards started to appear at the cost of over $1.50 per pack, and most of them only contained about 15 cards. But fools that we were, we kept on buying them, because they were AN INVESTMENT.

Shoeboxes, basements, floppy disks, attics, studios, closets, and spare bedrooms consumed with collections of cardboard squares of players who would be obsolete within 5 years. "Rated Rookies" and "Future Stars" who never played more than 30 games in the Majors. "#1 Draft Picks" out of college and high school who never sniffed the dirt on a Triple AAA field let alone in the Majors. Promises broken, and trust betrayed.

Music stars who get "ANGRY" when you don't blindly support and cheer for them

2006-02-03T11:23:00.000-08:00

I'm sure each and every one of you have their own list of musicians who would qualify for this list. but I'll list my top offenders to date:

Ashlee Simpson - The crazy hoe "cries" after the Super Bowl booing, and is relegated to blaming her band and formulating some preposterous reasons why she had to lip synch her songs during that Saturday Night Live episode. Note to Miss Simpson: If PAYING FANS do not like the way your wretched ass voice sounds at any given moment, they are PERMITTED to boo you, express frustration with you, and generally dislike you. IT'S THEIR RIGHT, they paid to see your ass perform! It says so on the ticket Ash, have you ever read the backs of the tickets Simpson? Didn't think so.

Kelly Osbourne - Just because your dad used to be a rocker doesn't mean you deserve to even get a shot being one. But you did...and you blew it. You have no observable talent. You can't force people to buy your overpriced CD's. You cannot get "angry" that your debut album sold less copies than Waterworld did on DVD. If you are not good, people do not "HAVE to" buy your garbage. Retire from your "career" and stop mooching off of your goddam parents identities and money. I hear that Target is hiring. Here's the link: http://www.target.com/

Nick Lachey on ESPN College GameDay??!!!

2006-02-03T11:18:00.000-08:00

This is going back a few months, actually, to the beginning of college football season. What the hell was Nick Lachey doing on ESPN College Gameday? The show ABSOLUTELY "jumped the shark" (see http://www.jumptheshark.com/) on this occasion. Fine, I'll buy that the kid likes football. I'll even buy that the kid knows a little bit about the sport. What I will not buy is that I should be subjected to his b.s. Just 'cause your a celebrity who likes sports and has a lot of free time, don't get in my face when I'm watching my football! Chris Fowler and Lee Corso should have been duly outraged by this blasphemy! Commingling US Magazine with College sports! The travesty! But it didn't seem anyone really gave a damn. I haven't heard too many complaints. Am I the only one?

Pisani Kills Brain Cells

2006-02-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

Stock market watchers certainly are familiar with CNBC and Bob Pisani. If I have to listen to another one of his attempts at market cheerleading, please lead me blindfolded off the side of a bridge with my legs tied together with chickenwire. I've had it with this guy. He spouts out inane points, and every day there's a different reason for either why the market is up, why it should be up, or why it isn't up. Notice the keyword here is "up." Down days don't exist in Pisani world. Down days are whimsical notions from the "Neverending Story." Today he said that the reason we are down is because of rate hikes! What the F***! What happened to "shrugging off the bad earnings" in recent sessions, and all of the "resiliency" and "positive momentum." BOB for the sake of humanity, just be a reporter! Tell things how they are and stop rationalizing "why the market isn't up" in any given day. We are ALLOWED to have down days! We are allowed to sell off once in awhile...there are BEARS in the marketplace too BOB and they are permitted to make money. Be a reporter for once and stop listening to the $2 brokers and specialists on the NYSE for all your "information." They have no business commenting on the FED, the fixed income market, Unemployment Data, or any of the other topics you like to drum up every day. These guys have spent more time this week filling out Super Bowl block pools than watching their list of stocks, so relying on them for market pulse information is career suicide if you actually care about being right every so often (which you apparently do not.)